Mailboxes in the mist

So today I participated in my first 5k (death march) with my lovely family. It was a misty day in the beautiful town of Windsor and the cool morning air had no hint of the pain in store. First a shout out goes to the girls of the jproject for putting the race on. It took a lot of work and motivation to coordinate it all which they did beautifully. 

We (my wife and I and the two boys) started off in the rear of the pack, a position we would never relinquish. The boys were carted around in a backwards rickshaw, that had flat tires from the altitude change from the mountains to the valley. No matter, we were off with encouragement from our oldest who yelled "faster dad faster" with no clue that I was in fact not usain bolt.

We continued on at a lightning fast pace, passing parked cars right and left. Mile one went down, and my legs began to burn from the brisk walk. Mile two and I began to think of a bathroom. How long is this race? My lovely wife who is in much better shape took over on pushing the rickshaw. We turn corner two, and thank goodness there is a Mexican grocery store. I shouted to my wife and kids "go on without me, I will catch up." I promptly dashed Into the store (the fastest I actually went all day) and pleaded with the shopkeeper to let me use his restroom. He nodded towards the back, and off I rushed. As I sat down I thought, to myself "running is overrated, no one is chasing me, I am a schmuck". 

Now feeling better, I returned to the course and set off on a brisk trot trying to catch up with my family. I put my earphones in and began to pound the pavement in a desperate effort to not let my wife pushing two kids actually beat me at this race. "He's going the distance, he's going for speed, she's all alone, all alone in her time of need" the lead singer of cake cheered me on.  I began to nod my head to the beat. Onlookers probably thought I was mental. 

I ran on, each time thinking to myself, " there they are", as I see a shape about 54" high in the distance. I pick up the pace again to catch up only to be disappointed as I realized the 54" shape was a mailbox. This happened at least three times until I realized my wife was trying to ditch me.  

Walk, run, walk, walk, jog, walk, run 20 steps. That was what the rest of the race was. I even began to think "I must have taken a wrong turn"  There was a man on a motorcycle who slowed down next to me, I considered asking him for a ride to the town square, but thought that my dignity would rather put me last in a 5k than to ride up on the back of a strange dudes motorcycle. 

Finally I see someone familiar, Juli and Kit, pointing the way to the finish with a camera in their hands. I figure I had better run the rest of the way so I wind up and rumble to the finish. My wife had beat me by two minutes. 

So that's the story. I really need to get my butt in gear. It's funny how out of shape I still am. I was wondering if there was an animal I could out run. If a bear or a tiger or a dog chased me I would be food. I am pretty sure I can out run a penguin. Take that chilly willy!